Saturday, July 01, 2006

Phew.

I was staying up till almost 4am the past nights for...you know what? Watch those girlish Taiwanese serials. Damm nice la....I was catching the 恶魔在身边 which is a pretty good but short drama.

Just past the first few episodes when there was a lot of plotting and such, I began to at least tear a bit during each episode! That's so scary la. But I wept not because the leads were fighting so hard to be together, but there were some parts of the story that was similar to my own love life experiences it's hard not to have flashbacks. And Felix said I like to dwell on the past. Not that I like lo. Just so happened that I was watching this drama and it reminded me of so many happy memories. As well as sad ones.

Girls, if you don't want to cry, don't watch! It's not a very smart show to begin with la...but such Taiwanese serials, what to expect?

Now it's time for Full House. A Korean serial featuring Rain.

~~~~~

I just experienced a parting last week. I initiated it though..and don't feel so much la. I didn't cry, I didn't think too much about it...instead I felt bad. Felt bad because there was someone that I may have hurt, who tried to keep me but I left. It's Sam la. If you still didn't know who he is, I knew him while working at Compass Point during the first quarter of the year. I don't know what I saw in him, but ya, circumstances made me feel loved lo. Was together with him from around March to last week. Except for the beginning, throughout the relationship we didn't communicate much. I used to stay up and wait for his call which never came, and when I called back, he fell asleep already and told me he was tired so he didn't call or at least SMS me. I'm one who needs lots of attention from my companion. I just don't understand how come guys can totally not SMS you, informing you that he's going to sleep all that. Like what's so hard about at least SMSing me on the train from work? I don't understand, that's part of the problem too. He used to SMS me in between customers while he was courting me, and he could totally not contact me for a few days in a row when we were into the relationship. I didn't rely on him, so I, too, didn't bother messaging him. His excuses were that he was busy, tired, blah blah blah, I don't seem to be important anymore, so what's the point? I don't want to go into detail of how much a bastard everyone around me thought he was when he was courting me and the things he told me about, but as friends, he was great. We had another problem - everytime we already set to meet, something would crop up and destroy our chances of a date and the like. So for the months we didn't go out by ourselves at all. The longest time we had for each other outside was at most forty minutes. We used to pass time at his place, but I got sick and tired and I wanted to go out.

The breakup happened around his birthday. A day before his birthday his uncle who resides in Malaysia passed away after days in coma due to a traffic accident. He didn't want to go to the funeral because he wanted to meet me. I told him to go as a form of respect, and he said he'd call me as soon as he reach home on his birthday so that we could meet up. Fine, I waited for a whole day and sacrificed a day's worth of work. I did nothing that day, just waited for him at home and tolerate the nagging from my mum like why just go to work first all that. But I didn't know when Sam'd call. I waited for a few days in fact. When he didn't contact and his present was gathering dust in my room, I ringed him up and the call got through. I hung up so at least I knew he was in Singapore. I got mad at him, I know it's not entirely his fault, but he didn't contact me straightaway when he entered the country and told me that I was the one who told him to go for the funeral. Fine lo.

I was ignoring him on and off throughout the next few weeks, and when my birthday was near....he was so disappointing. At about 3am plus of June 22, he SMSed and wished me happy birthday when my birthday is on the 23rd. I told him he got the date wrong, and he didn't reply. The next day, he messaged 'Happy 18th birthday dear!' when I turned 19. I can understand if he got tired because of work, but such things he cannot even remember, and even mentioned about marrying me. I won't be able to tolerate at all. So just last week when he messaged me again I brought up the topic and told him about giving up on me. He didn't beg me to stay directly, but just SMSed things like he thought I could understand him and another was like just 'Dear...'. So I told him to find another who can understand him. Though I wonder who'll.

2 comments:

eriko said...

oh...u kept so quiet about it... and i was still figuring out that alvin...hmmm u set me thinking..

erina said...

yea...i didn't mention much about it..i only told felix and hongwei in fact. but also not detailed. told yixin too. more detailed though. hahaa.

and anyway, just to let you know, 'that alvin' also reads my blog. hahahahahaaahhahahahahaa hope he doesn't see this.