狼狈。
This was how I felt for the whole of today. Today began as a terrible day, worser than I thought it would be.
Slept at 2 a.m. plus after packing my stuff in hall then went to sleep. But I haven't finished packing actually. Don't have enough bags and paper bags for storage. Nevertheless I slept.
Then I woke up at 5 a.m. plus because I wanted to go for the JC band SYF. In fact it was a heavy rain that woke me up, not the alarm clock nor Jie Ying's wake-up call. Prayed that it would stop raining after I finish bathing and before I leave hall. In the end it just kept on pouring.
So I had to bring my only (yet favourite) umbrella, a gigantic one, all the way to SCH. I don't have those smaller kinds. =C And along the way out to the bus stop there were puddles of water that dirtied my feet. T_T
Waited for bus 10 for quite some time and I was late already. Got a bit pissed off, and finally the bus came. Trotted up the bus, laid my ass on some nice seat, and hoped that I'll reach SCH asap. In the end there was something wrong with the exit doors of the bus. Bloody hell. It would not shut and I got extremely irritated. So it was practically at every stop the bus driver had to push the button to close the doors but to no avail. He then asked alighting passengers to alight from the front doors, so it was fine. Until apparently he forgot and opened both doors at a bus stop and no one got up and neither alighted. Argh. And he pushed the button in a way that you could hear the click click click and shortly after it became banging. -_-
Got to SCH slightly longer than usual, and when I got there a queue was forming and I queued quite at the back. Saw Kai Ling and Hui Zhen in the middle of the queue, then I decided not to cut the queue and be a good girl. I could've cut Daniel/Xin Hui/Jie Ying's queue. Because they were first in queue. -_- And then I thought about it. I think I won't be able to get inside. And so I trotted up front to join KL and HZ. Heh heh heh. And then I heard some news that I really don't want to hear and don't want to know. And that thwarted my day a bit more. Sigh.
People in front cut the queue and when it came to ticket distribution, Kai Ling got her ticket and ta-daaa I was left without a ticket. Bloody hell, damn pissed la. T_T Even if I'm born unlucky why am I unlucky to that extent. Sometimes I just tend to want to be good and considerate but I end up being disadvantaged. And finally luckier for me, they distributed more tickets and I managed to get in.
During intermission Jie Ying etc. didn't want to stay anymore, so I spoke to my juniors and roamed around for somewhere to sit. Thankfully found a seat beside Pui Leng and so I stayed for the second part of the AM session.
Badly wanted to go for the PM session as well, because I wanted to watch SAJC - or actually, to watch Glosz in action. Really wanted to know how 'great' he can get. Wanted to hang around from 1 p.m. till 2.45 p.m. so that I can get a ticket. Then Daniel etc. wanted to go for lunch and not stay for the PM session =C And I don't know where to go so went to the hawker centre with them - in the end, only Daniel.
It was lunchtime, therefore the hawker centre was damn crowded. Finally found seats and during eating I dropped my phone. Didn't think much of it that time, since I've dropped my phone a couple of times. So when I took out my phone from the pouch, it was like this.
I got a shock and prayed that it'll be fine after I turned it off and on again but it was still the same. Whined to myself and was rather worried since the agent called this morning and she won't be able to contact me then. =C Went back to SCH by myself since Daniel, Jie Ying and Hui Zhen were going for pool and I wasn't interested. Felt so lonely la. Like nowhere to go no one to find like that. And it was like I had to 'ask' people to take me in. =\ So 狼狈。
Sighh. Neh neh.
Then I was the only one around left without the PM tickets out of all the people I knew over there. Till I found XH so hung around with her for a while. Then I took a cab to Suntec to find Sam for a standby phone and got his Sony Ericsson K618i for a while...till I get my phone fixed. Another part that I felt sian because I only go find him when I got a problem. Of course I apologised to him about that, but I think he didn't mind. On the condition that I go out with him next week. OK then.
Anyway, I went back to SCH hoping that I could go inside the hall for the results. I was already tired, sad and grumpy. Still couldn't get in, spoke with Hong Wei. He said I sounded troubled and he guessed 'Guy right??!' -_- And he laughed at me because Felix is using K618i too. Which I didn't know.
So I waited at level 1 with the rest of MJCSB for the results.
Got back to MJ with them, was damn tired and decided to head straight home.
But the nice things that happened today:
1. MJCSB clinched a Gold!!! Thank goodness, I thought they were going to get a silver, because there were several good bands today. Good job, kids.
2. Many staff supporters came to SCH from MJC today. Like Mr Eric Chua, Ms Pauline Choy, and of course Ms Lai the principal. They're so nice la. Haha. There were other staff too but I don't know them.
3. Mr Wong cried!!!! Whahahaaha. The second time I caught him having tears in his eyes. Whole day act so manly. In the end he can get rather emotional. And the band loves him. But he called me stupid woman. =\
4. Ms Sia finally could sleep well. Haha.
Sometimes I wonder. And I wonder and I wonder and I wonder. Why I am still troubled. Everyone has the freedom to do what they want, and when events end, move on. Why do I still feel the ache that I felt some years back, why do I still feel the pain coming over me? It was as if the air smelled of that time. I don't want to be affected but somehow I do. Maybe because I was treated differently. Especially when I was doing something and the same thing was happening at the other side. However I don't get the same response. The other side's other side did. I don't understand why things became this way, it was totally unexpected. Hong Wei also didn't understand why. No one can tell me except yourself. I feel so fucked up. I hate to hear your name from the mouths of others. Why can't I just move on? Argh. I don't want to believe that I need someone to pick me up.
I really hope that there is someone around who can really understand me. Sigh.
Slept at 2 a.m. plus after packing my stuff in hall then went to sleep. But I haven't finished packing actually. Don't have enough bags and paper bags for storage. Nevertheless I slept.
Then I woke up at 5 a.m. plus because I wanted to go for the JC band SYF. In fact it was a heavy rain that woke me up, not the alarm clock nor Jie Ying's wake-up call. Prayed that it would stop raining after I finish bathing and before I leave hall. In the end it just kept on pouring.
So I had to bring my only (yet favourite) umbrella, a gigantic one, all the way to SCH. I don't have those smaller kinds. =C And along the way out to the bus stop there were puddles of water that dirtied my feet. T_T
Waited for bus 10 for quite some time and I was late already. Got a bit pissed off, and finally the bus came. Trotted up the bus, laid my ass on some nice seat, and hoped that I'll reach SCH asap. In the end there was something wrong with the exit doors of the bus. Bloody hell. It would not shut and I got extremely irritated. So it was practically at every stop the bus driver had to push the button to close the doors but to no avail. He then asked alighting passengers to alight from the front doors, so it was fine. Until apparently he forgot and opened both doors at a bus stop and no one got up and neither alighted. Argh. And he pushed the button in a way that you could hear the click click click and shortly after it became banging. -_-
Got to SCH slightly longer than usual, and when I got there a queue was forming and I queued quite at the back. Saw Kai Ling and Hui Zhen in the middle of the queue, then I decided not to cut the queue and be a good girl. I could've cut Daniel/Xin Hui/Jie Ying's queue. Because they were first in queue. -_- And then I thought about it. I think I won't be able to get inside. And so I trotted up front to join KL and HZ. Heh heh heh. And then I heard some news that I really don't want to hear and don't want to know. And that thwarted my day a bit more. Sigh.
People in front cut the queue and when it came to ticket distribution, Kai Ling got her ticket and ta-daaa I was left without a ticket. Bloody hell, damn pissed la. T_T Even if I'm born unlucky why am I unlucky to that extent. Sometimes I just tend to want to be good and considerate but I end up being disadvantaged. And finally luckier for me, they distributed more tickets and I managed to get in.
During intermission Jie Ying etc. didn't want to stay anymore, so I spoke to my juniors and roamed around for somewhere to sit. Thankfully found a seat beside Pui Leng and so I stayed for the second part of the AM session.
Badly wanted to go for the PM session as well, because I wanted to watch SAJC - or actually, to watch Glosz in action. Really wanted to know how 'great' he can get. Wanted to hang around from 1 p.m. till 2.45 p.m. so that I can get a ticket. Then Daniel etc. wanted to go for lunch and not stay for the PM session =C And I don't know where to go so went to the hawker centre with them - in the end, only Daniel.
It was lunchtime, therefore the hawker centre was damn crowded. Finally found seats and during eating I dropped my phone. Didn't think much of it that time, since I've dropped my phone a couple of times. So when I took out my phone from the pouch, it was like this.
I got a shock and prayed that it'll be fine after I turned it off and on again but it was still the same. Whined to myself and was rather worried since the agent called this morning and she won't be able to contact me then. =C Went back to SCH by myself since Daniel, Jie Ying and Hui Zhen were going for pool and I wasn't interested. Felt so lonely la. Like nowhere to go no one to find like that. And it was like I had to 'ask' people to take me in. =\ So 狼狈。
Sighh. Neh neh.
Then I was the only one around left without the PM tickets out of all the people I knew over there. Till I found XH so hung around with her for a while. Then I took a cab to Suntec to find Sam for a standby phone and got his Sony Ericsson K618i for a while...till I get my phone fixed. Another part that I felt sian because I only go find him when I got a problem. Of course I apologised to him about that, but I think he didn't mind. On the condition that I go out with him next week. OK then.
Anyway, I went back to SCH hoping that I could go inside the hall for the results. I was already tired, sad and grumpy. Still couldn't get in, spoke with Hong Wei. He said I sounded troubled and he guessed 'Guy right??!' -_- And he laughed at me because Felix is using K618i too. Which I didn't know.
So I waited at level 1 with the rest of MJCSB for the results.
Got back to MJ with them, was damn tired and decided to head straight home.
But the nice things that happened today:
1. MJCSB clinched a Gold!!! Thank goodness, I thought they were going to get a silver, because there were several good bands today. Good job, kids.
2. Many staff supporters came to SCH from MJC today. Like Mr Eric Chua, Ms Pauline Choy, and of course Ms Lai the principal. They're so nice la. Haha. There were other staff too but I don't know them.
3. Mr Wong cried!!!! Whahahaaha. The second time I caught him having tears in his eyes. Whole day act so manly. In the end he can get rather emotional. And the band loves him. But he called me stupid woman. =\
4. Ms Sia finally could sleep well. Haha.
Sometimes I wonder. And I wonder and I wonder and I wonder. Why I am still troubled. Everyone has the freedom to do what they want, and when events end, move on. Why do I still feel the ache that I felt some years back, why do I still feel the pain coming over me? It was as if the air smelled of that time. I don't want to be affected but somehow I do. Maybe because I was treated differently. Especially when I was doing something and the same thing was happening at the other side. However I don't get the same response. The other side's other side did. I don't understand why things became this way, it was totally unexpected. Hong Wei also didn't understand why. No one can tell me except yourself. I feel so fucked up. I hate to hear your name from the mouths of others. Why can't I just move on? Argh. I don't want to believe that I need someone to pick me up.
I really hope that there is someone around who can really understand me. Sigh.
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