听妈妈的话
I couldn't take it, I cried on the phone while talking to mum before the paper today, at around 9 plus when I couldn't go back to sleep. Was really very angry at my bad luck at the start of the day also. It was like, what a way to start my exams.
I feel bad. It's like I keep making my mum and dad worry about me over the slightest thing. For the past week for about four days my dad brought me out to have brunch, so I didn't really have to worry about nothing to eat when I wake up. My mum will always listen to my woes no matter how tired she was after work. We usually talk when she calls me after work on her way home.
This morning when my mum and I were on the phone she said I always worry her because I cry over exams every year. -_-. Well yes I think since preparing for the O levels I've been breaking down during pre-exams. But I hardly cry post-exams because I gave up on the papers when I know I couldn't make it at all. She said she told me to go to a polytechnic so I can go to work straight after graduation, and not go to JC and have to go a step further to uni. I think it also hurts her to know that I suffer when I'm studying. Not that I want to. But it's quite a hard adjustment to make. I think I'm only one of the weaker ones around la.
“你要振作啊。” I cried when she said that, because I think it was the first time she really encouraged me and told me to pull myself up. She used to say during my JC days that if I cannot then give up, it's alright. But well of course I won't do that to myself. She just doesn't want me to suffer so much. I was angry at her for saying such discouraging words and I told her she ought to encourage me. That was probably last year while preparing for my prelims. That surge of emotions this morning...I don't know how to put into words. Plus the stress. Though it was just a short sentence but it meant so much to me, moreover I don't live at home for long anymore and I hate to make her miss me. You know when your parents miss you la.
Love my mum so much so much so much. I don't wanna hurt my parents in any way. I hope I don't and I won't.
I feel bad. It's like I keep making my mum and dad worry about me over the slightest thing. For the past week for about four days my dad brought me out to have brunch, so I didn't really have to worry about nothing to eat when I wake up. My mum will always listen to my woes no matter how tired she was after work. We usually talk when she calls me after work on her way home.
This morning when my mum and I were on the phone she said I always worry her because I cry over exams every year. -_-. Well yes I think since preparing for the O levels I've been breaking down during pre-exams. But I hardly cry post-exams because I gave up on the papers when I know I couldn't make it at all. She said she told me to go to a polytechnic so I can go to work straight after graduation, and not go to JC and have to go a step further to uni. I think it also hurts her to know that I suffer when I'm studying. Not that I want to. But it's quite a hard adjustment to make. I think I'm only one of the weaker ones around la.
“你要振作啊。” I cried when she said that, because I think it was the first time she really encouraged me and told me to pull myself up. She used to say during my JC days that if I cannot then give up, it's alright. But well of course I won't do that to myself. She just doesn't want me to suffer so much. I was angry at her for saying such discouraging words and I told her she ought to encourage me. That was probably last year while preparing for my prelims. That surge of emotions this morning...I don't know how to put into words. Plus the stress. Though it was just a short sentence but it meant so much to me, moreover I don't live at home for long anymore and I hate to make her miss me. You know when your parents miss you la.
Love my mum so much so much so much. I don't wanna hurt my parents in any way. I hope I don't and I won't.
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