Selamat Hari Jadi, Bapa

Selamat Hari Jadi Ah Bean! Umur awak sudah lima puluh.

I'm sorry that you had to spend your birthday eating maggi mee alone at home, because both Mum and Bro were working. In addition, I wasn't around because I got school so stayed in hall.

I'm sorry that I didn't think that you'd be lonely last night, since I had band practice and I was very tired. Therefore I didn't even call you. All I did was to SMS you and suan that you're 50 years old, though you replied you're only 40. But we'll still celebrate at Crystal Jade on your lunar birthday!

I'm sorry I haven't been a daughter that you could be proud of, since I haven't been doing well in my studies, and I have no talents, whatsoever that you can tell your siblings about. Tentang awak gembira kerana awak ada seorang anak perempuan yang baik.

I hope you'll be proud of me when you see me perform this Sunday and not fall asleep. And understand that this is what I like to do.

I'm sorry I only have empty dreams that were not sought after and as much as I'd like to do well to ensure a stable job to bring money home, so that I can finally look after you and mum, I haven't been doing what I want to do. At all.

I'm sorry that you will still drive me around for breakfast because you were afraid I'd go hungry, and that'd use up your money as well as time for ferrying other customers around. I feel guilty all the time because I was taking away your chances at making money.

I'm sorry I haven't been strong, I've been relying on you, I haven't been confident of myself like how you can be of yourself, I haven't been working hard, I haven't been concentrating on work, I've been putting my time on other things, and that I haven't been listening to all your words like a good girl should have.

Still,

Saya cinta padamu.

I only said this here because I know you're not gonna read this.

I'll never say it to you face-to-face.

Thank you for bringing me up and doting on me these twenty years.

And I miss you.