How does it feel?

I just got word that a percussion junior in Hai Sing who was two or three years younger than me wants to pull out of his last cycle of chemotherapy.

He was diagnosed with cancer.

I feel so helpless, yet quite angry at the same time as to why he's giving up.

But I don't know how it feels to have a terminal illness, and how it feels to really decide to give up on your life.

I didn't know him well and I still don't.

This is very scary.

I'm already moody...getting worse now I think. My heart is very heavy, now heavier. Can feel the discomfort building up around the chest. Sigh. This is pressurising.

I hate to experience this.