supposed to have dinner alone

supposed to have dinner alone today...parents going for a wedding dinner, then brother going out with his friends...actually juling invited me to her bbq, but due to some circumstances i chose not to go..im so sorry..but anyway..i couldnt pass the time alone at home, at night..hongwei suggested that he'd accompany me for dinner, but blah blah blah, in the end he couldnt make it..so sad. heh. then went out with yixin and shunwei to telepark to register at a job agency there...shopped around after that then went home. while i was waiting for the both of them at tampines bus interchange i saw ber! heh then said hi a bit and reminded me of tsz shan! so asked the latter out for dinner, she could make it! so i was happy, at least can get someone to have dinner with me. also long time never talk properly to tsz shan le.

went to han's for dinner...and chatted with tsz shan alot. haha damm funny lo..sometimes talk about something also can laugh very loud...but really la, glad to have company and can catch up with my junior..oh we gossiped too. shhh. heh. thanks girl!

whenever im alone, i automatically will think of my life, and reflect on it. sometimes i do things even i thought hard whether i should..but sometimes, i am really mad and angry. partly im angry at the causes of my unhappiness, the other thing is that why is my life this unfair, this hard. i mean, if the things i have to bother about is work and my income, i can tide through, im strong enough for that. i can scrimp and save, but there are things that you cant scrimp and save on. and one of those is friendship. relationships on the whole. try as i might to cherish whatever i have..things dont work for me. i guess i do overdo things all the time, however something inside is telling me to cherish whatever i have. and somehow..i wanna fight for what i have. dunno la. my brain is killing me..i've been thinking too much. sigh. left jc, i dont want to lose the good friendships i have now. im afraid of people drifting away.

give me the beatboys and free my soul..i wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away...

did a colour test

received an email from my friend, discovered my (supposed-to-be) true colours.here goes.

Erina, your true color is Brown!

You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy.
erm, ok, i dunno about that
Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision.
this is fake.
Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music.
somewhere there.
Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.

it can get quite fake. i dont know myself that well..so its ok..its ok..i guess i did the questions honestly.

been busy with job searching, got no time to continue doing the melbourne trip..hope i get it done soon. and hope i get a job soon. sigh. feeling so useless and unchallenged. wish me luck!

argh.

what's the point of a group of friends if one doesnt want to be friends with another? someone will have to come out.

that'll be me.　我真的受伤了。

you dont deserve what you have, though. its not as if i deserve what i have...but this is what i really want you to know, whether you see this or not.

christmas 2005

this year...though there was a certain period of time i was happy, other than that, i was very miserable. hated my life, hated myself. never did i know that the guy up there would be that bad to me, that this xmas must be miserable too. hmmph. i must have been a very bad kid.

because, yesterday, which was christmas eve, i didnt get to go out with the band people because i had a temporary job to do. this temp job wanted me to go sell santa hats. oh, its alright what, shouldnt be that hard to sell. but stupid me didnt think too much.

when yixin and i reached the somerset mrt, supposed to meet the supplier there (note that i dont call him boss). collected 24 hats. siew peng then told us we had to sell at least 20 hats from 6pm to 11pm then we can get our pay of $50. ok la, not very demanding you may say. but sell the hats at $10 each?? please lo, the hats look so cheap! like if you tell me its $3, i will buy. $10!!!! yuck!

yixin and i just went along to sell the hats, but to no avail. i cant believe that there are actually people who are willing to spend the money. yixin sold 2 hats, i think those people were really hungry for those, and i sold none. there are actually big groups of people coming to me and ask me for the hats but when i tell them the price, they actually gave me a disgusted face, as if i really wanna cheat their money. wah lao.

so about an hr after we started both of us went back to the uncle and told him really too expensive. and he's like, 好咯，一个卖八块。$8 for one hat? still damm ex lo. grrr. and we went to centrepoint, the busy route there. after that 3 men approached us and showed us their passes. they're from NEA (national environment agency). and one of them were rattling on and he talked in a very rude way. i hate the way he talks. ya i know he didnt know, but i seriously forgot all about the licences! its like on the streets everyone is doing it, so what's the big deal? yea and i got warned, wanted to return to those uncles the goods but yea, they werent at the carpark at somerset mrt where we met. so i called them, told them to come down, they had to ask us to go this corner of the carpark so that officers wont be able to see them. kanasai. we passed the stuff and yixin returned the $20 she 'earned'. and the guy was like, ‘哎呀，他们不会抓的啦，我有问过！’ you come sell yourself la! see when you get caught then how lo. you can think like that cos its my future if i ever have a record. bloody hell. officers were around orchard road giving summons to those illegal peddlers...that includes myself and yixin but i guess we were lucky enough just to receive warnings. and also, i didnt get a single cent of pay. the whole stint didnt go by hours, and moreover, those sort of money...i dont really want.

however, thats not the end of a very bad christmas eve.

i wanted to pamper myself after this ordeal, went to plaza singapura and wanted to get some smoothie or blended juice and the sort to drink, to cool down. siggh. sat and drank at anderson's ice cream. after that due to the crowd i told yixin that, why not we take the mrt to marina bay so we can sit down. she was like, ok! and we sat at a corner, away from the speaker, and sat reading our storybooks. after that a lot of people walked out and we blur blur and followed suit. we were at ang mo kio. i got a shock, like how did we get there. and in the end, i realised that the line at marina bay is the north-south line, doesnt go to the east. we should have changed trains at raffles place at least. sigh. so we stupidly took the train back to raffles place and got on the right track. so sorry yixin!

went home and chatted with tsz shan over msn. good chat with her, made my xmas night seem less lonely. sigh. and i passed 12 midnight bathing. great. night spoilt. with no friends, no loved ones...

wished i was there.


oh and on the 23rd, christmas eve's eve, there's a christmas lunch at mj hosted by the band. i didnt get to eat any turkey. sigh. nevermind, ate some stuff, ran around with tsz shan who came, and after that went to tampines mall/century square with dawn, weile, hongwei and kaiyan. felix had to go to some passing out parade at his secondary school.

we were helping hongwei to find a present for yuhan when we saw a santa claus mascot with this supposed to be hot girl dressed in xmas costume and this other man. dawn got fascinated with the mascot, we decided to take a photo with him.

he's so cute haha

after that the man asked 'who wants to hug santa claus??' yes, and hongwei went to hug.

see how happy he was

left them at near 5pm..meeting the rest of the 7 of us (joan and huiying couldnt make it) to go to marina south for steamboat. went to chin huat 镇发活海鲜. jingyi chopped up the crabs for us..so nice ah..haha...had a great time with the girls.


went to my uncle's place in woodlands for this xmas lunch today..after that joan and yixin came over to my place...spent xmas with them too =D they reached at near 7pm, and chatted till 11pm or so...heh. at least i had company on xmas.

a chalet with band friends

weile dawn they all invited many of us to their chalet...but i only chose to go for the bbq la. took some photos here and there, quite high as we proceeded into the night. talk cock sing song, and we even had this singing marathon where they sang songs of the festivals of a year...like merry xmas then auld lang syne then cny songs and the like...funny la..had fun, talked to hongwei and felix in the room too. it was great la. yes. thanks guys.

me and weile at the bbq pit
in the room. quit it, felix. haha
A sized cup that attracts mock from hongwei
he reckons he should act surprised after all
sexy eh?
what's going on???
a rape attempt!
felix seems to be enjoying it
weile trying to pose in a handsome way
now now now, we see weile able to hug himself properly
if..well, you have an A sized cup...you may experience difficulty...
yes, this can be an alternative
they always want to be sexy
jinhai and me
dawn's birthday
when hongwei meets spiderman
oh. a massage session
the massager seems to be enjoying it. must be a real good job ... ...
... ... not

melbourne - day 5!!!

im finally going home today! yeay. away from all the flies and everything. heh.

bro brought us to queen victoria market so that we can see how the markets are like in australia and to buy the soy crisp that i have yet to get. had to go there quick, we had a plane to catch.

walking on the pavement to the tram stop in my pink shoes!
the big xmas tree outside the multi-purpose building
one side of the station
a cathedral under construction

we reached queen victoria market!
this is called a schnitzel if i got the spelling right. soooo nice! its huge, i couldnt finish it myself. its like chicken breast meat sliced open to form a heart shape and its very large
like the typical wet market in singapore, just that its not as wet
hens for eggs chicks or ducklings? familiar? same as what we have in singapore similar? not really. difference is that the green man flashes in singapore. and that the most bottom section says LTA and there is a certain number for you to call

my brother said he wants to bring us to the restaurant called Nando's where their chilli sauce is very good and he wants to buy some home. i ordered some chicken thigh thing, and your food will be served to you. its like a fast food restaurant, it goes by tags instead of table number. and i got an enormous tag numbered 2. its a chicken. i like the design of the restaurant..very special.

i got 2nd place!
this is what i ordered. its good! without the chilli sauce though. i just dont like it la

after lunch we proceeded back to the hotel to wait for our van to bring us back to the airport. it was late though, due to heavy traffic.

this is how my hotel looks like from outside. take note that the hotel has only got this much space and no other entrance this is a tram. i like the design here's my van. the container behind it is where you put your luggage we have these in singapore too. difference? uH, ours is black. another difference? the ones in singapore doesnt work if you wanna close the air conditioner, these white ones does. along the way

i reached this airport and we needed a trolley to put the 7 or so luggages we had. in the end i realised we have to pay A$3 to get one. forget it.

they even accept credit cards here's me at the airport! me and my bro my bro bought me this cup of mocha choc off we go~ on the way into the plane

departing... look!

look at the clouds below


thats a river, i think and clouds above!
meandering river. am i right? oh by the way i asked for this on the plane. red wine on the left, white on the right look at this! i was above the great sandy desert many big ponds clouds have 'horizon' too felt like sleeping on these clouds

look at the lines on the ground! so nice right...see how the sun shone on the clouds and the effects another lake down there this is like..so pretty see the sun's rays? so beautiful...if only i could bathe in the sun

its like sunlight raining onto the clouds i told you im on the great sandy desert. the desert is huge lo. this is located at around the north-west of australia doesnt the cloud look like a rabbit and a kangaroo? sunset from the top. not hiding behind the sea, but the clouds the colours of the sky...so nice see the white spot? its a planet. but i dunno which the sky is getting dark
thats the white spot again touch down! went i was inside the arrival hall. 2220hrs this is my boarding pass aka ticket this is what i use for my transport (inclusive of trams, trains, buses as long as you buy this sort of ticket). it can be used for one day, unlimited got these from the plane got this from the shopping area of melbourne airport. cute

enjoyed my stay in australia, except for the irritating flies. other than that...im of course happy to be back. had to miss the hsc flute chalet also...sigh..mrs chua got go lo...