what a day

woke up today and realised im a bit late to meet yixin. she had an interview at specialists shopping centre. met her there and we went to plaza singapura to buy ribbons from spotlight as decided...so unlucky. we were eating sushi and the soya sauce spilled onto my bag and now it has those japanese soya sauce smell..haha..due to the required washing up i was late for band by about 10 mins..also dunno why i say this for.

dunno why today's band pract i cannot play loud..lips were super dry have to keep wetting them..siGh. scared. ms sia wasnt in a really good mood when we started playing noah's ark..so i was quite scared. last time when she ask me to play the tuba solo accompaniment i can just say i dont want and i wont be afraid of defying her at that point. then today dunno whats wrong with kaiyan that he just couldnt play as well as he played for the last practices. in the end ms sia asked me to play then i really dont want then i dunno how to reject. i couldnt really remembered what actually happened but all i remembered was my heart was thumping super fast and i felt horrible. like feel very bad la. its like i've only came for practices not as many as kaiyan and felix..........its ok la. its ok.

after band pract went to soup restaurant with my parents and sis for dinner..after that went make up shopping with sis. woah. i know nothing of make up and i usually hate it when the assistants come and intro this and that to you but im not interested at all..siGh. haha. whatever la. bought to a total of like, $60+...siGh. hope i'll make good use of them.

stayed at home all day today

today is the first time i've stayed at home ever since the a levels ended. usually im out shopping or at band pract. siGh. but today also pass very quickly..maybe cos i was busy with the camera...and also my mind was occupied with a lot of things...

我真的好想你

feel so cheated

a polo tee with your personalised print for how much you know? SGD40!!!!!!! i feel so cheated. arGh. maybe cos quantity is small ba. hope the result of the shirt will be good. will only get the shirts back by next weekend.

went to make the section tee today with felix, kaiyan and hongwei. we actually decided to go graffitti imprint jurong pt to let them do our shirts one...jurong pt you see, the other end of sg. so i asked around last night and jingyi told me that she made her class tee at this store called cheeks at far east. so i told the guy what i wanna do, blah blah blah, in the end its $40. siGh. so freaking ex. it also didnt occur to me that i will only be wearing it rightfully for only once. oh man. but in the end, we confirmed the deal. since the guys are fine with it i also got nothing to say..like i cant make up my mind lo. so forget it. buy lo. i feel quite cheated actually...its like how come so expensive!

after walking around with those guys i went to meet my dad and mum to get the olympus μ DIGITAL 500 i've been targeting since some time ago..

it looks like this

then my dad's friend's friend's shop doesnt sell it anymore, so we tried out other places too. my dad wanted to go harbourfront centre to try the BiG electronic store and see what they have. physically the store is really big. it has a lot of tv sets and even yamaha keyboards. all sorts for you to choose. and of cos, they have cameras. just that they dont carry the olympus brand i dunno why. so quite a wasted trip.

and when i hoped not to step into mustafa, my dad suggested we go there since you can take the nel and get to farrer park straight and quite efficient. the point why im going everywhere to look for the camera is because i've done some research on it and hey, its really my choice, and we want to look for some really good deals. the one at mustafa doesnt even come with a memory card, so we forgot about it. its really a big mistake to go there on a sunday night cos its when the bangladeshi workers gather and chill out with their friends, as well as to do some shopping. so there are a lot of men there and the place was oh so squeezy. i didnt know that this is what we will see on a sunday night. 2nd regret of going there. i was quite afraid that i'll get stared at and ya, it happened. though i got more stares they werent as gross as the one i got on thursday. or not that i noticed. like my dad said, they wanna check if im malay or filippino or not. siGh.

and we proceeded on to sim lim square. the first shop we went when we got there also sold out all its DIGITAL 500..the uncle there recommended the μ DIGITAL 600

and said that it is the latest model, very good, blah blah blah. i asked him whether the monitor is the HyperCrystal™ lcd monitor cos thats what i wanted from the camera. the monitor allows you to view the lcd at 160 degrees, meaning if a whole bunch of you wanna look at the photo you all just took it will guarantee everyone a clear view, and not like if you see from too low an angle it'll be just blurry. in the end the digital 600 dont have lo. siGh. it has this BrightCapture Technology so that in low light you can get great shots too. i dont need it lo! ya im dark and i need more of such stuff to look more chinese but so what?! siGhhhhhh. and you say i can just not buy the cam right? please lo. i only realised that after getting the camera. but it has its advantages also, like more programme modes etc. a higher megapixel. nothing much liao lo.

can say i regret a bit...but now like it a bit more liao la. =)

aftermath

sometimes when you make things too open, you can get the results you somehow wanted. true enough, the girl who liked that 'attached' guy did not join the clique after band pract. how come? i dunno also. probably cos she had sth on and had to rush back? dunno la. dont wanna bother anymore.

havent swam for a loooongg time

today is the first time i swam since...like last yr i think. even lost my goggles lo. since band pract is at 1730 i decided to go for a swim first...checked the internet to see if the tampines swimming complex is open or not cos shihui told me it was down for renovation when she went there long time ago. no news from the internet leh. so i prepared everything, went to tampines mall to get a pair of arena goggles for $27.30, then walked to the sports complex. in the end. the swimming complex was still under renovation. sigh. so i went to downtown east lo..was quite scared cos i've never swam there before.

when i reached the gate to enter costa sands, the guy at the gantry was like, '(i dunno what he murmured) melayu?' cos he spoke in malay i didnt bother to turn i thought he wasnt speaking to me. in the end. 'eh you malay ah?' and such questions only apply to me right. so i turned around and said no la. siGh. since young the whole world has been asking me this question. haha. but its ok, im used to it. the auntie selling malay rice at my primary school only knew that im chinese at p6 when i've been there for my whole six years of primary education.

and then i went for band pract...met shihui after band and saw her without her specs. she was wearing lenses! yea wear lenses made her eyes look bigger i think she look much better!

after meeting her i went back to meet my band clique for dinner..we went pasir ris central for dinner...im just quite irritated and unhappy by the behaviour of two of the people at my table. i also dunno how to say. but ended up bitching quite openly about them in front of them.

its like, i think if a guy and a girl get into an ambiguous relationship, as long as they recognise each other as that status but they just dont have that status, if you get what i mean, the both of them should be loyal to each other. its my opinion though they have no boyfriend girlfriend relationship. even if some other girl likes the guy, he shouldnt let her do what she wants to do cos he feels bad! please lo! if from square 1 you dont let her do anything you'll be showing that you are not giving her any chances lo. 气死我。

ya la i should repent on myself too. i mean, i didnt get into situations like this, but ya, other stuff. sigh.

当你的眼睛眯着笑
当你喝可乐　当你吵
我想对你好　你从来不知道
想你想你　也能成为嗜好

hair cut

went for a haircut today with yixin...haha. i just cut my hair, its shorter and thinner now but soon it'll be bushy again. but doesnt matter thats not the point. and yixin dyed her hair! its very expensive lo. but after her dye she looked much better la, like less of the plain jane. and she look older also. but then look better la. happy? haha.

should i let my hairdresser do my hair for prom? i cant decide..she already thought of a hairstyle for me but then its like $55 lo......with discount then it'll be like $44...still very expensive. i dunno my plans for the day of the prom on the 4th..sigh....must start planning...make up how? siGh

anyway after the haircut we walked around and i wanted to look at cameras...yixin said we can try mustafa and so we went there..and you know, when i was there, i got stared at lo. this indian man was staring at my chest. wth. and then when he walk past already, he turned around and continue looking lo. wtH!!! so disgusted.

i hope i wont go there again.

by the way, im not racist or anything. i said indian man cos he was really indian. and in some parts of my blog i'll say that i look like malay and i seem to have negative opinions about it, but come on, im really not malay.

nth much today.

woke up at 0916 or so to realise that im late for band. should start at 9 lo. so i smsed kaiyan to tell him and i'll be late. i wont take a cab to school lo...so took my time and reached school like near 11. siGh. i woke up to see that my bolster is on top of my clock. the latter was on the floor..i dunno what i was trying to do at 7am when im supposed to wake up haha.

then after band pract went with a few of them to whitesands..at the cavana chicken there cos hongwei wanted to have his dinner. we ended up talking about our section tee. like the design all that. spent so much time sitting there trying to conclude sth but to no avail haha.

yea there's nothing much today la.

好想你

sigh..

felt damm troubled today la. really. like things happened during band pract..things happened because of band pract...etc. siGh. just pretty troubled by all these. its not as if im that a good player, i dunno what difference my presence makes and i just feel being put in a spot when those people im compared to are really good friends...i dunno how i should manage all these also...i dont hope to be a teacher's pet or anything.

then after band pract i had to go to heeren's daniel yam to collect my dress as well as to get an evening bag...in the end when i checked the dress it was too used..as in i guess it was tried on too many times by others and though it felt and looked new, threadings came off and strings were sticking out of the dress. since shihui called me and told me that she saw the same dress at the outlet at suntec, i reserved that dress at suntec and went down straight. by the time it was like 7-8pm plus le and im alone in town so sian. called yixin but she went home already.....so it was ok la. it was ok. went from heeren to suntec and walked around in suntec to find the shop, buy the dress and quickly went home. i havent had any dinner yet. spent like $123.90 for the dress and the bag lo. like ex ah........but its ok, i'll get to use these many more times next yr.

今天我到了乌节路，也到了新达城，满街都是我和你的回忆。孤单地走在街上，好辛苦。就是希望刚才你会在我身边。新达城是我们第一次约会的地点，乌节路是我们在一起后第一次约会的地点。今天的我却一个人走这些地方。
我刚刚才看见你有一架新的手机。我们的回忆就这样没了。
好想念你。

another shopping day

planned this shopping trip beforehand, like a week ago or so i guess. there's me, shihui and jorcelyn lo. sh said she went bugis during the weekend and got clothes there so we made there our first stop. after that went to orchard le we shopped at heeren too, thats where i found my prom dress. its a dark purple number from daniel yam. a bit of layering..but its quite tight fitting thats where my prob comes in cos i dont have a figure! like my tummy is freaking obvious. sigh. and since i never bring money i decided to go back again tmr to pay and collect the dress lo. ma fan. so i'll make the trip there after band pract tmr lo..and im going alone..so sian. haha. see how tmr goes ba.

then sh and jorce also went to try on clothes but they havent found anything they really wanted i think. at least they know what they wanted liao lo. i suppose they're opening up to more choices with more shopping.

zzz. what a day of shopping. its very tiring.

the hari raya dinner

its supposed to be a dinner for people to mingle..and since its the hari raya season they made this dinner a hari raya dinner. all races invited. but i dont see any indians..maybe there are la i just didnt see.

when i reached there its like omg lo. all the malays there were so well dressed! i was back from shopping ma, so i wore like jeans and a tee. the malay women were in their baju and make up all done like that i felt so odd. my first thought was, should i go home and change and run back again? and then my dad came to meet me at the front of the community centre...haha my dad also dressed casually. when i entered the hall where the tables were placed and the food served (duh) i saw the chinese also casually dressed la. so its ok.

i just wanna hiam about the food lo. its nice really. but so slow! the dinner started at 1930 and by 2100, only 2 dishes were served. after that everything came together and the table was over flowing. towards the end of the dunno how many course dinner there was supposed to be this fruit platter but it never came. and we cant be bothered about the games and lucky draws all that so i said i wanted to go home. and my family did. haha. we escaped at 10pm plus.

wah the activities there quite mean..not the performances but the games. very bad lo! its like they only asked the more elderly males to join, of whatever races there were. and then this game..the host asked the uncles to do poses of superman batman spiderman (i dont have to demonstrate you know your stuff) and then whatever the host says the uncles must do whatever poses. and the host said the superman! batman! spiderman! batman! superman! so fast that some of the uncles actually panted lo. this other game asked 5 malay uncles to go up to stage and dance. then blindfold them and if they tap on you you can take a token and leave le. and the hosts purposely tap on these 4 uncles very quickly and sent them off the stage in less than a minute and this uncle was left dancing alone on stage lo. he was actually just shaking there la. the hosts also ran downstage and the stage really left that cik alone. the hosts then told him through the mic things like put your arms up higher la etc. until the song ended they asked the uncle to remove his blindfold and he saw himself onstage alone lo. throughout both games the audience were just laughing and laughing hysterically. i mean its really a good laughter but i just find these games very bad la. like they're trying to make a fool out of the uncles and what does this show to the kids? to think that its supposed to be a quite civilised dinner cos the MP was there also.

yea but i went home and dont care liao la.

had no plans for today

and so i went shopping. asked yixin along, and shihui and jingyi. sh and jy only joined us while walking in the tampines area...we are actually sourcing for prom dresses lo. so shang nao jin, like we shop everywhere just to get the dress we wanted. when we were at metro tampines, they saw this ananas black dress with pink linings and had layers so it was quite flowy..the sort that wont see the flaws in your figure yea? so they asked me to try..like so sad ah.. the biggest size was 9 and i already cannot zip up...almost zipped up fully ok...siGh.

actually i didnt have a need to shop for prom clothes la, its just a want. i have this dress that i wore for my sister's wedding earlier this year..and as time passes, i found that dress a bit too glam for prom. its nice for your siblings' wedding, but for prom..not that good. its silver..and those silky material spag strap and its a full length dress. i also saw the tips in the newspaper for girls with figure like this and that and they're telling me i shouldnt wear this dress. like whatever lo. haha. moreover next year i have 4 weddings to attend throughout the year..i dont mind wearing the same thing over and over haha. save up what. so i can get a new dress that i like more..dont care liao la even if it goes outdated haha.

we met at noon and yixin and i shopped till around 2plus then we left for orchard..yixin had to go heeren to check the process for her tailor made skirt and take measurements. we also met her friend there. and then they actually wanted to wait for this other friend to arrive from work ma...not that im hiam-ing or what..she could only reach quite late so the 3 of us actually had time to go get other stuff. yixin wanted to get this cardigan to go along with the tube dress that she's getting so we had to go to far east, thats the other end of the orchard shopping road. and i had to replace the battery for my watch, so i went to pacific plaza first and decided to meet yixin and her friend later on. in the end i couldnt find a proper way to meet so i walked from pacific plaza to around ngee ann city there...and i cannot tahan liao so i called yixin and asked if her other friend can go to heeren alone (there's no point for me to walk there and see someone i dunno) then yixin and i can continue shopping. i felt bad la. but really lo. and i realised that the other friend was actually coming with her boyfriend! maybe she wanted friends to see see for her also lo...but i just dunno why she cant take measurements alone and friends must meet. haha. aiYa. im like that one la...i just felt bad that i had to put yixin in a spot and that friend who was with us had to be left alone. im so sorry!

yea so yixin and i just walked around and i didnt see much that caught my eye. then we went into fcuk and yixin saw this black dress so we decided to try it. not nice lo when we wear. like...weird la the design. i also dunno how to describe.

call of the nature..yixin had to go to the toilet while we were at wisma..haha..so after that i was quite tired already and had to go to this hari raya dinner in changkat community centre in tampines..so just returned back to tampines lo.

the first band pract after the exams

today's the first band pract after the a levels...was quite dreading it cos i lost touch liao ma, like never play since may..but on the way to school i was quite.....quite looking forward. a bit anxious too. looking fwd cos i dunno what i'll expect...whether when i blow into the mouthpiece i will get air through or i will get sound through...and anxious cos i scared i would play badly during the practice...but luckily, things went quite well, except that i couldnt and cannot catch up for those fast parts and weird fingerings parts. har.

i purposely woke up late la. i didnt wanna go for band early. heH. supposed to get to school at 0930, then i woke up at 8 plus..but ya climbed out of the bed like...quite near 9. so nua here nua there...i got out of the house at...0945? somewhere there haha. so irresponsible hor me. for today only la. the rest of the days i'll be early one. its the night after my last paper ma. reached school at 1045 like that..then took a tuba and went off to warm up.

still ok la my tone i guess. not that bad after all..im also not sure whether its worse than last time. but my mouth got tired very easily leh...like play a bit cant tahan le..must go for pract all the time liao...but the thing is..i still got prom to prep leh...band pract like got a lot of whole day ones...dilemma dilemma dilemma..dont hope i have to pon lo. dont wanna make ms sia mad.

speaking of ms sia...ya today she wasnt in a good mood. i think what actually caused it was miscommunications ba..sigh. so messy.........

i lost touch with notes. as in the musical notes, not the lecture notes. uH, im having trouble sight reading...oh man...just that the score was written in a quite stranger way..i cannot understand already. like have to stare at the score and glue my eyes to it. with that i wont be able to see the conductor. choose one, you say. no i must have two. so i guess...more practice for me to know the score better...

the practice was...quite tormenting for me. psychologically and physically. the former that im afraid i wont be able to catch up, the latter that my lips were swelling and they were like harder.

but after all, im glad to be back.



我就是空气
但不是让你存活的那种
我的名字如此空虚